HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
