Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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