This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
