jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
