i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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