I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
