Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
