So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
