Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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