You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He felt like a one man threesome
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
