The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
