my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i jhust puked up my retainher.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
