you guys were way drunker than both of me
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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