I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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