Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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