i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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