Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
