No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
