batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
