I think I died a long time ago.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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