The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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