I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
