hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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