Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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