This dress was meant to end up on your floor
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
