Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
