you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
