so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
