...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
