i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
