But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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