Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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