so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
