How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
