Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
