i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
