do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize