Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The beers last night were like the tears from god
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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