your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize