like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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