kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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