i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
