I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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