the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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