North Korea, Best Korea!
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
