all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
