the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
