i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
i think my cat just said my name.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
