problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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