Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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