Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
