when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
