I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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