I think my fart just growled at me.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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