Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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