Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize