I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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