It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
