I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
