So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
