I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
