She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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