I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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