Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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