just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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