Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
