plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
