I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I have post one night stand depression
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