Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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