I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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