Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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