you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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