the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
