i just had sex bonerless
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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