don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
