Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize