Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
